I'm Irrational.

     You know how I know it's Spring? A spider was on me this morning and my immediate..."rational" reaction was to scream, drop my bags on the driveway and then throw my coffee in the air. I know what you're thinking...poor coffee. Honestly, it was going to be consumed anyway, so it died a quicker death when being thrown. 

     My fear of spiders is irrational. I think it runs in the family because my older sister drove into a brick wall once because of a spider. Don't worry, she's fine. Stink bugs fly into my shower and it doesn't phase me-but if I see a spider half the size of a stink bug..I literally go insane and can't control it. It's embarrassing. One time a spider was in my car and I almost drove off the road. The passengers were not happy with me. 

     Spiders only bother me when they are unexpected. I actually find them somewhat interesting (but barely) if they are in their natural habitat. Oh, if you really want to see something hilarious-watch my reaction after I walk through one of their webs by mistake...I look like I'm a weird dancer on crack. 

This was outside of my bathroom window. Because Charlotte was on the other side of the glass, I was able to stop and enjoy her beauty without having a heart attack. 

     Spiders are the devil. If I hear one more person say..."But Dana, they kill off so many bugs and keep balance in the ecosystem"..I don't care. Although that is true and logical...I have an IRRATIONAL fear of spiders. Logic will not help me and I will punch you (with my mind) if you say that to me. 

     I will never trust anything with eight legs. Anything with eight legs is greedy and hogs all the legs. The End. 

The Maintenance of Life

Friends-I have survived Monday. Jeez, I'm so dramatic. Anyways, After waking up at 7:28am (because 7:30 is too late), I showered, made breakfast, packed my snacks which consisted of a lot cheese and then drove to work. I arrived at 9:00 then left at 5:07. Yes, I stayed 7 minutes late; I'm such an over achiever. As I drove home...I noticed something very irritating: 

It is time to get my oil changed. Dun dun dun! (Again, I'm dramatic)

When do I actually have time to do that? I already work half my life away-I swear my "free time" and "spare money" goes to things I don't feel like doing or paying for. It then dawned on me that I need to make my annual dentist and my gynecology appointment. Yes, the vagina doctor-get over it. Honestly, if you can't handle the word vagina at this age, you probably won't get married. That was mean, sorry..I retract that statement. But really..vagina. Okay, I'm done. 

For one to live, one must maintain...many things. Health...Finances...and if you have a little extra time..maybe you'll have time to enjoy your "want tos" as well? I guess happiness does coincide with the "have tos". But come to think of it, I chose this complication. I chose to purchase a car, I choose to keep up with my doctors appointments that are usually unnecessary and a waste of time...honestly, WebMD has helped me more. We choose many of our complications in order to keep up with society's standards. I'm not complaining, just being honest with myself.

I really want to simplify my "have tos" and "needs". 

I want more time to blog-just kidding, I clearly blog enough. 

If your window isn't open right now, you're missing out. Today's weather was such a refresher. K bye!

Zen-Cloud-Health

I'm just going to cut to the chase. I was on a cloud today. My mind and body turned from stressed to zen in merely a second. By the way...experiencing this sensation was completely legal. 

I met this guy in Israel exactly a year ago. You could feel this relaxed as well...

Reflexology...

Also known as "zone" therapy-an hour long massage that focuses on pressure points. It is believed that putting pressure on specific areas of the body will cure ailments and improve overall health.....and it feels amazing. I had to force myself to stay awake, as it puts your body into a zen like state in which all of your problems go away.  You literally feel like a feather (I don't know what that means exactly...but it was the first thing that came to mind). 

Benefits  

• Stress Reduction
• Improved Circulation 
• Stimulated Nerve Function
• Improved Immune System
• Increased Energy
• ...basically....you should participate in this experience.

You'll be addicted. Drink tons of water after, because reflexology helps rid your body of toxins, and hydration helps the process. Excuse me, why are you reading my blog right now? Go take care of your body!

Enjoy. 

Things I wish I knew

I have been on this planet for 24 years and 47 days...but technically I've been on this planet for much longer if you count the years that I was a little spermy...and let me remind you, I was one of the little spermies that made it. Therefore, I was born a winner. 

While being alive and conscious, I have learned many things. I think the most important thing that I've actually learned and accepted, is the fact that I truly know nothing. There is so much information out there. There is information about information about information. 

Looking back...I wish I knew some of these things earlier.

• School. And I specifically mean elementary school. At that time, all I cared about was Spice Girls, being popular, pretending to be a witch, and writing creepy love notes to boys who thought I was weird for pretending to be a witch. I wish I paid more attention to elementary math than college math. Seriously, which one do you use more in the professional world? I have never heard my boss ask me.."Dana, can you please tell me ?  It's important that we put that in our proposal.  
• The past. What you do each and every day matters, and it will come back to haunt you. Do whatever you want. Truly. It's your life. Just make sure you don't care about others knowing about it in the future. Everything you do matters, even if it seems meaningless at the time. 
• Family. Don't take them for granted. I know everyone says that, but it's true. You need to treat every day like it's the last time you're going to see them. Life isn't guaranteed and you don't know when it will be the last time you see someone. As you get older, you will have less and less free time for family. When I was a kid..I wish I spent more time with my family rather than watching Are You Afraid Of The Dark. As we get older...family will move in different areas of the world...have children...work way too often...and worst of all...they will die. Morbid I know...but it's true. 
• Driving. I wish I knew that driving would be annoying and dangerous. As a kid I would hate to ride the school bus and have my parents drop me off at events. Dude, being a passenger gave me more opportunities to nap. Now I have to focus on my safety, directions, and the safety of others on the road. Oh, and I have to pay for gas, insurance, and other crap. 
• Speaking of naps. I wish I didn't complain about napping as a child. That was really stupid. Now I cry when I CAN'T nap.
• Rubbing my eyes. I used to always rub my eyes, and my mom would say..."you're going to ruin your skin" Well, I now have wrinkles around my eyes at age 24. Damnit. 
• It's okay to say no. I wish I didn't always try to make everyone in my life happy. Honestly, it's exhausting and we need to accept the fact that at times, we may disappoint people. There's not enough time in the day. They will live (but maybe not-refer to the bold font in bullet point 3). 
• College is easy. At one point in my life, I was in a hurry to graduate college. Um. That was easiest, most fun part of my life so far. And it goes by so fast. Enjoy every minute and never wish to graduate..unless you've been there for 7 years or something..then it's time to move on with your life or something. 

One final thing I wish I knew at a younger age..

This is me. 

It is never okay to have a mullet. Even if you're only 2 1/2 years old. Parents, thank you for this lovely haircut. 

Over-thinking comes with age.

     Hi. I over analyzing everything. Seriously, I could turn the topic of grocery shopping into a deep, philosophical conversation. I don't know if that's a talent or a fault. One thing I know, is that I over think everything. I don't think I was always this way; I can't remember. The beauty of working with funny & interesting people, is the fact that they constantly share funny & interesting things with me on a regular basis. This is one of my souvenirs...

                                          

What should we do when we are scared of change? Watch the video ^

     This 6 year old boy gives weirdly amazing advice. It's so simple yet true. We need to give children more credit. Sometimes they have a skill that others don't...they tend to not over-think things. They are usually literal and to the point; they have time to notice beauty in the little things. When they feel something, they feel it, and they will certainly let you know. You know how humans eventually grow a verbal filter? Well..kids are lucky for lacking that quality. 

"Yeah, if like something feels like you're closing....you should just say okay, I'm fine! I usually let it go..I usually think of something that I really like to do..and you just think of something else, until the nervous has gone out of you..let that thing disappear out of my head..out of my ears...out of my mouth..I'm scared of this thing, when the scared thing comes into you, the scared is scared of things you like..so um, I was scared of a monster, and I thought of pizza and juice, and a cookie. and then I ate it all up with some milk" 

He pretty much said it all. 

Places & Faces

     Sometimes the most meaningless places tend to have the most meaning. I know that doesn't make sense; actually...it's quite the contradiction. What I mean to say is that that the most random places are capable of holding so many memories. Memories that in present time seemed meaningless...yet stick with you forever...for no reason at all. 

     When I visit places from my teenage years (when I believed I was at my wisest-now realizing I'm nowhere near wise) I feel as though I'm trespassing into my old self. I feel so unwelcome even though that feeling is clearly being made up in my head.It's as though my mind is telling me to not backpedal. Move forward. Progress...not regress. Move on. 

     When I go to these old places. It's all new faces. New faces that are creating their own memories in such a meaningless place...but..I suppose that no place is meaningless afterall. The faces that pass through give it meaning, and that meaning will be different for every single person. 

     I sat in a restaurant the other night in Gaithersburg...a place I used to go to quite often...I looked at all the tables and remembered conversations I had at many of them...all the tables in the same place-after 6 years. While sitting there, I wondered if someone eating alone was having the same private thought in their head. I think too much.

    These familiar places are no longer familiar; and when I walk in I remember my old self. I wonder if this is a part of growing up..losing attachments to once familiar places and faces. 

My backyard. A place that will feel familiar to me..no matter how much I've changed. 

Then just be who you are..

I was watching a marathon of Girls today...it was actually an accident. I've already seen all of the episodes. It's just one of those shows that you can't turn off, even though you already know what's going to happen. I watch too much television. Sometimes the most simple quotes create such an impact. 

In the process of Hannah attempting to break up with Adam...the complete opposite takes place. As they are kissing, Hannah apologizes for not being the girl he would typically date. His response.."Then just be who you are" and then they continue to kiss. During that moment I paused and asked myself how many times I have apologized in my life for being who I am...and why I would do such a thing. Why was I sorry? 

If someone ever has the nerve to make you feel like you have to apologize for being who you are, then you should apologize for having to delete them from your life instead. Disclaimer: if you are a rapist, killer, bank robber, pathological liar..etc...then okay, maybe you should apologize for being who you are. Just a thought. 

Your weirdness, your randomness, your beliefs, your dreams, your imagination, your style, your creativity, your passions (or lack there of) will be valued...somewhere. But do not ever apologize for being who you are. Embrace it and surround yourself with those you don't "complete" you..but rather "complement" you. 

Just be who you are.