Blessings

     I am not religious. I guess I am spiritual? Ugh, I dislike labels. I believe that if I treat people the way I want to be treated, then maybe I'm doing something right. As a philosophy minor, I am basically programmed to doubt and question everything. It's always been a constant struggle for me to find a single belief and stick to it. I like to explore and take a little bit from each experience and added knowledge. 

     I am culturally Jewish, but I always find myself listening to the Christian radio station. First of all, I'm sick of the "popular" songs that are continually repeated. My ears can no longer handle "Wide Awake".."Payphone"..etc. Enough already. The Christian radio station gives me positive vibes and a chance to reflect on my life. Sometimes I get uncomfortable and awkward when they talk about Jesus and stuff...but hey, he was a fellow Jew, right? Anyways...enough rambling. I heard this one song the other day and it really touched me. 

Blessings by Laura Story

We pray for blessings We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights 

Are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

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We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know the pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

 Are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise

     
     There are various events in my life that seemed heartbreaking or rough...but looking back...they have led me to such beauty. I am thankful for the tough times...and I'm dreading the future ones...but secretly know that I have no choice but to get through them. 

These were taken at the fair within the same time frame. One side of the sky was dark and scary...the other side was beautiful. It reminds me of the song above...there is "beauty in the breakdown".