Blessings

     I am not religious. I guess I am spiritual? Ugh, I dislike labels. I believe that if I treat people the way I want to be treated, then maybe I'm doing something right. As a philosophy minor, I am basically programmed to doubt and question everything. It's always been a constant struggle for me to find a single belief and stick to it. I like to explore and take a little bit from each experience and added knowledge. 

     I am culturally Jewish, but I always find myself listening to the Christian radio station. First of all, I'm sick of the "popular" songs that are continually repeated. My ears can no longer handle "Wide Awake".."Payphone"..etc. Enough already. The Christian radio station gives me positive vibes and a chance to reflect on my life. Sometimes I get uncomfortable and awkward when they talk about Jesus and stuff...but hey, he was a fellow Jew, right? Anyways...enough rambling. I heard this one song the other day and it really touched me. 

Blessings by Laura Story

We pray for blessings We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights 

Are what it takes to know You're near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

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We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know the pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

 Are what it takes to know You're near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can't satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise

     
     There are various events in my life that seemed heartbreaking or rough...but looking back...they have led me to such beauty. I am thankful for the tough times...and I'm dreading the future ones...but secretly know that I have no choice but to get through them. 

These were taken at the fair within the same time frame. One side of the sky was dark and scary...the other side was beautiful. It reminds me of the song above...there is "beauty in the breakdown".

Moderate Conformists.

I saw this quote today. It is true to a degree, with the exception of those levels that I would never dare stoop to. I took a social psychology course in college and we discussed the topic of conforming. We all conform- some not enough..and some way too much. I guess I enjoy the Buddhist mentality of the "middle way"...another way of saying: moderation. I'm rambling...


The point is that there are High Conformists (HS) vs Low Conformists (LC). The HC will change their self completely based on their surroundings. They will change their belief system, their mannerisms, speaking patterns and their entire personality in general. This person has no consistence when it comes to their self. The LC is the complete opposite. They don't conform at all. Which is worse?


 Being at either extreme is a problem. The HC changes to make everyone happy in their life. They will agree with anyone at any time. The LC will go against anything just because they want to be different..both can be dangerous. The HC could harm their emotional health by conforming to any situation. The LC could become a complete anarchist and harm others around them just to avoid conforming to any rule or social norm. 


I don't like extremes in any situation. Maybe that makes me an extremist against extremes? Rambling again. The reason I started writing this post is because I'm realizing we are all actors to a point. We must moderately conform to live a happy life. 


I behave differently with my supervisors at work than I would with my best friends. I behave differently with my boyfriend than I would with relatives. I behave differently with my siblings than I would with a complete stranger. We all change to a point depending on the given situation. But are we doing this in a healthy manner? Are we staying consistent at all? We are all actors. Hopefully..we are moderately conforming.