I consider myself to be a relatively healthy person. I workout 2-3 times a week and then sometimes go months without even thinking about
exercise. I eat healthy but make sure I have something chocolate involved at
least once per day ….and maybe my occasional McDonalds fries twice a year. THEY
ARE REALLY GOOD YAY SWEET AND SOUR SAUCE-don’t judge; but kale and blueberries
are favorite, so that’s a good sign. I prefer to exercise alone because I feel
more confident and don’t hold back. When I exercise with a group of people…my
mind begins to wonder and the thoughts are not only endless, but also slightly
bi-polar. Please see below:
50 thoughts I have had during an exercise class:
- Do I really feel like taking this class? There’s still time to turn around.
- No, I need this. Remember…Dream body…Dream body…Dream body…AND ENDORPHINS!
- Okay, I’ll pick this spot…it’s close to the front…but close to the exit as well.
- Ooooo I like her pants. I really need to ask her where she got those.
- Oh crap! We’re starting…I should drink a lot of water before it gets too crazy.
- Does my hair look okay? Wait..who cares, I shouldn’t care about that right now. Why do I care? Why am I still thinking about my hair? Stop thinking about your hair! Ugh, this is totally going to fall out mid class…I still have some time to make it tighter.
- Okay, this class is pretty easy. I can do this. Only 40 minutes to go. I can do this. Yea, this is super easy; I totally look like I know what I’m doing.
- Yay! I’m sweating. Goal accomplished.
- Okay, I’m a little out of breath…but that’s normal. Nothing to worry about at all.
- Wow, my heart is starting to beat incredibly fast. That’s normal though…nothing to worry about.
- Okay…I’m worried, my heart rate is very fast. I can feel it and hear it. This can’t be safe.
- Maybe I should stop and check my heart rate.
- No, people will think I’m paranoid and I can’t allow anyone to know the truth about that.
- But really, her pants are so cute! As soon as this class is over…I am finding out where she got those!
- Okay, why is this class so hard for me, yet everyone else seems to not be challenged at all?
- Seriously, this was supposed to be a beginners level class.....
- I’m hungry.
- Thank God; that girl to my left is really struggling, at least I’m doing better than one person in this class. Oh God, what if I look like that too?
- Okay, stop being insecure…you aren’t the center of the universe and no one even knows you’re here. Calm down.
- Okay, someone definitely farted… People are gross. I love people, but right now…I hate people.
- Ooooo she’s really doing great-I’m going to watch her so I can get on her level.
- CRAP! We made eye contact…maybe I should just quickly look away. Yes, that’s how it has to be done.
- Am I breathing too loud?
- Okay, maybe I’m just dehydrated. I’ll drink some water.
- Great. I’m out of water.
- I’m sorry, but how the hell can this instructor talk and workout simultaneously.. was she born with an extra lung?
- Where did she get all of this energy? Maybe she actually sleeps 8 hours per night.
- That’s it! I’m going to bed at 9 tonight.
- Wait no I can’t…I am supposed to finish Orange Is The New Black tonight.
- What do I want for dinner? It should be healthy. CHIPOTLE?! Yes.
- I wonder how many calories I’ve burned so far. But really, what is a calorie? I know it’s energy and blahblahblah, but what does a calorie even look like? Okay, I’m over it.
- Ugh, my heart rate can’t be safe right now. My heart is beating so fast.
- Am I dying?
- OMG, what if I died in this class?
- Okay, that’s not going to happen….I should research this on WebMD later.
- I’m never taking this class again.
- Seriously, it’s 2014, we shouldn’t have to work this hard to be fit.
- Wait, it’s 2015 now…WHY IS TIME MOVING SO FAST?
- What’s the meaning of life?
- OMG, not now…deep thoughts are not happening right now.
- Okay, thank goodness…we are finally cooling down.
- Ahhhh I love this stretch.
- I LOVE THIS CLASS.
- I am so happy this class didn’t kill me.
- I deserve ice cream. I’m getting ice cream tonight.
- I should totally be a workout instructor. Seriously.
- Wait no, because then people would have to look at me.
- THE CLASS IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SURVIVED!!!!!!!
- This wasn’t difficult at all.
- Crap, the girl with the cute pants already left. Now I’ll never know.
