Places & Faces

     Sometimes the most meaningless places tend to have the most meaning. I know that doesn't make sense; actually...it's quite the contradiction. What I mean to say is that that the most random places are capable of holding so many memories. Memories that in present time seemed meaningless...yet stick with you forever...for no reason at all. 

     When I visit places from my teenage years (when I believed I was at my wisest-now realizing I'm nowhere near wise) I feel as though I'm trespassing into my old self. I feel so unwelcome even though that feeling is clearly being made up in my head.It's as though my mind is telling me to not backpedal. Move forward. Progress...not regress. Move on. 

     When I go to these old places. It's all new faces. New faces that are creating their own memories in such a meaningless place...but..I suppose that no place is meaningless afterall. The faces that pass through give it meaning, and that meaning will be different for every single person. 

     I sat in a restaurant the other night in Gaithersburg...a place I used to go to quite often...I looked at all the tables and remembered conversations I had at many of them...all the tables in the same place-after 6 years. While sitting there, I wondered if someone eating alone was having the same private thought in their head. I think too much.

    These familiar places are no longer familiar; and when I walk in I remember my old self. I wonder if this is a part of growing up..losing attachments to once familiar places and faces. 

My backyard. A place that will feel familiar to me..no matter how much I've changed. 

Then just be who you are..

I was watching a marathon of Girls today...it was actually an accident. I've already seen all of the episodes. It's just one of those shows that you can't turn off, even though you already know what's going to happen. I watch too much television. Sometimes the most simple quotes create such an impact. 

In the process of Hannah attempting to break up with Adam...the complete opposite takes place. As they are kissing, Hannah apologizes for not being the girl he would typically date. His response.."Then just be who you are" and then they continue to kiss. During that moment I paused and asked myself how many times I have apologized in my life for being who I am...and why I would do such a thing. Why was I sorry? 

If someone ever has the nerve to make you feel like you have to apologize for being who you are, then you should apologize for having to delete them from your life instead. Disclaimer: if you are a rapist, killer, bank robber, pathological liar..etc...then okay, maybe you should apologize for being who you are. Just a thought. 

Your weirdness, your randomness, your beliefs, your dreams, your imagination, your style, your creativity, your passions (or lack there of) will be valued...somewhere. But do not ever apologize for being who you are. Embrace it and surround yourself with those you don't "complete" you..but rather "complement" you. 

Just be who you are.